A narcissist doesn’t care about anything but himself or herself, so controlling you is just part of the game.
This Woman’s Worth
Ladies, it breaks my heart that we somehow forget our worth, somewhere between the I do and till death do us apart, we forget our worth. Part of that is because our society has normalized a man cheating on his woman. If a woman cheats , she’s a ho or a thot. Now if you’re a man of integrity- I’m not talking to you. I’m not saying all men cheat, but we as women have accepted it for generations and I don’t really know when the cycle will be broken – if ever.
I remember when Kevin Hart was allegedly accused of cheating on his pregnant wife. The majority of women jumped on social media and said they should leave him. I wonder how many of those same women would have encouraged her to stay in the marriage if she wasn’t pregnant. Cheating is cheating , whether its done when I’m pregnant and or after.
What’s even more appalling is that side chics who then become wifey think that history won’t repeat itself. People’s character do not change overnight, it has to be tested over time. The Bible says you reap what you sow. I didn’t say it. Read the good book and you’ll find it. Oneika- Kevin Hart’s current wife can’t possibly be shocked at the scandal considering she was part of the scandal that broke up his first marriage.
Now, some might say, she is staying for her unborn child, but my response to that is what are you telling your unborn daughter or son? Are you telling her that men will cheat , so accept it and lower your standard? Are you telling your son, that women are not worthy of commitment, so its ok to step out and have a side chic?
I understand that each circumstance surrounding cheating may be different, but the fact is he lacks character and he no longer values her, so why should she stay. If it’s money, she can take him to court for child support and alimony. Even though those things won’t change the fact that he doesn’t understand what it means to be faithful or committed to another human being. It would just expand her wardrobe and help maintain her lavish lifestyle.
After a man cheats on you, it’s not about rushing to salvage the relationship, because the trust has been broken, it’s about what are we willing to unlearn, change to build a new foundation, or in some cases what are we going to do to be effective co-parents. I’m not encouraging everyone to go to the divorce court once their husband cheat, what I am saying is as women, we should not be quick to take them back, without assessing their character once again, to decide if this is truly the person that you want to continue forever with.
The divorce rate is high amongst the black community and although many of us are trying to hold on to what’s familiar, you have to ask yourself at what cost? To be disrespected, to set a bad precedence for your children on what a marriage looks like, to give an illusion of what your reality looks like?
Women we have to do better, we have to demand respect from our significant other, and spouses. We can’t slap them on the wrist for fear of being alone. We have to rise to our queendom and take our rightful place, trusting that there is someone out there who knows your worth, your value, respects you, and is committed to you as you are committed to them.