A narcissist doesn’t care about anything but himself or herself, so controlling you is just part of the game.
The Devil is in The Details
The devil is in the details is an idiom that many people use to buttress the importance of paying attention to details because when detail are overlooked , problems arise. For example in a written contract, when you peruse the document quickly, one doesn’t usually see the red flags. However, when one begins to look at he fine print , you may start to see the red flags that are an integral part of the contract. Similarly, when considering a spouse, one has to pay close attention to the details.
I don’t mean the physical stats or details like how tall is he, does he have a six pack, does he have brown eyes, etc.. I mean what’s his credit score, what’s his habits, what’s the behavior patterns, who are part of his nuclear family, what are his likes and dislikes, what are his short term goals, what are his strategic goals, what motivates him, what’s his purpose, what’s his vision, what’s his passion.
One has to be definitive on whom or what you’re getting before you decide to say I do with this person. Ladies often do their research before investing in a designer bag. However, we often don’t invest the same due diligence in researching our future spouse .The worst thing a girl can have is to think she’s taking home a CHANEL bag when in fact she’s taking home a FANEL. Similarly, one has to ensure they are getting the authentic spouse ,and not the fake.
When one has decided that they want to spend the rest of the life with another person, it requires complete transparency and authenticity. At this point, you no longer need to impress me with the fairy tale dates that you will not be able to continue happily ever after. At this point, I need to know your strength, weaknesses, vulnerabilities, fears.